why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
