You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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