If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
