'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
