I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
