if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
