ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
