what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
me + whiskey = a bad person
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
