That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
