I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
