oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
farters have to be the big spoon...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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