Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
