Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Ppl just aren't as funny as we are

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(203): View more from Connecticut

thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?

(518): View more from New York

No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.

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(630): View more from Illinois

if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him

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(301): View more from Maryland

They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."

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(305): View more from Florida

Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!

(216): View more from Ohio

Look at your life. Look at your choices.

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(310): View more from California

It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol

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