she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
