I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
