Rock
Scissors
Fuck
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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