I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
