I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
