The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have already put on my inside pants.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
