so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
