also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
