OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
