Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
