Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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