Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
