i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
