Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if only i could text you this smell
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this just has baby written all over it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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