dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize