I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
