I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Come on in and take your pants off
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
