it hurts more in the daytime
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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