Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
