I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
