I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
