thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
