Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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