420 ftw
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
