Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
