New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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