Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
