just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i came on her dog
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
