i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
