Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
