Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize