do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize