I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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