Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
