i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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