I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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