and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
