No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
