"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
