make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
