My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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