TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
