Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
