But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
