That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
