I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
