at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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