Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize