She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
