girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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